sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
