Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
