if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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