i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
