yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
