I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
