You're so nebulous sometimes
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
