If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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