I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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