See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
