I'm really into asian looking animals
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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