My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
