i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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