seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
