Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
