I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
