there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
