Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
