you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
