Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
