Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
