At least make sure they are 18
Why
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Floor bacon is actually really good
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