I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
she was so not down for the gang bang
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
