so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
