So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
