Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
