Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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