So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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