gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
