I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
