At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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