Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
