Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
