Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
