Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
