I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
