i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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