we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
