Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
