if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he was CRYING into my vagina
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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