The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
