I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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