we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize