He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
