Sponge bath it is.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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