Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
