I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
