I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
