If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
