Buhtt sex?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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