Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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