We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
